Are You What You Wear?

I work in a field where first impressions are everything, the outer package needs to inspire confidence in your clients or you're dead in the water.  With regards to professional dress, I tend to think a lot about what the outer package says about people.  My mom  used to say when I was growing up, "if you really cared, you would remember/do [x], etc." Professionally this translate to (for me): If you cared about the job, you'd show up looking like you care about the job. I'm also a big believer in the saying, dress for the job you want.

Two things about both of these statements though, what does it MEAN to LOOK like you want the job? And while I believe in dressing for the job you want, I don't always like it. Believe me, there are some days where it take a lot to muster the effort. This morning on my commute into the city, I saw a girl who was clearly on her way to the office, chatting with a friend or co-worker on the metro. What struck me about her was her commuting footwear. Now DC is not known for being particularly fashion forward. I think this picture says about all there is to say about DC, fashion and commuting:

Yeah.

Anyway, back to my metro friend. She was commuting in flip-flops. It's January. And 35 degrees. Flip-flops might be comfy, might be easy, might be gender neutral footwear aka not oppressive to women, but in this situation they make you look incompetent.  Call me shallow and harsh, but if you can't use good judgement with regards to footwear, I'm going to be a bit concerned about your ability to use good judgement when you're working for/with me. Yikes.

Corporette did an interesting post awhile ago about a study that looked at the correlation between make up and perceived competence. I think it kind of gets at what I'm saying above.  Do you feel less confidence in the "under-made-up" woman that she will pay attention to detail, be professionally polished, know how to act with clients?

Who would you want to be the face of your company? But really, all kidding aside. I bet your answer will surprise you.

When I read Caitlin's post yesterday, I thought about the reaction I had to the woman on the metro this morning, and then I began thinking about the things I do (or don't do) and why: specifically hair and make-up.

Oh, the Irony

It's kind of ironic that I'm about to write this given that my last post was about my dream of professional blow outs everyday.  If you don't regularly read Healthy Tipping Point (or do, but haven't checked it out today), you should do so as soon as you have a chance. Caitlin wrote a really thoughtful post this morning about a project she's starting on February 1 with Molly Barker, the founder of Girls on the Run: The Naked Face Project.

In Caitlin's words:

For the next 60 days, Molly and I will give up all traditional feminine Beauty Habits – including wearing any makeup, removing any body hair, altering our hair from its natural state (dying, curling, straightening), wearing uncomfortable feminine clothing (high heels, tight skirts), wearing jewelry (with the exception of wedding bands), painting our nails, using anti-wrinkle or anti-acne lotions, wearing deodorant, or styling or cutting our hair for reasons other than function.  We plan to blow dry our hair (because it’s the winter), brush our teeth, wear sunscreen, and dress appropriately – but comfortably – for the occasion.

Why? (Ok, cop out but I'm not going to even try to match their eloquence.) In Molly's words:

[We (Molly & Caitlin)] have built our entire lives around authenticity…using our experiences, thoughts, time and intelligence…to transform cultural norms around beauty and gender…to help little girls and big girls, alike, see that they are beautiful just the way they are…that beauty really is an inside job…that when we love the BIG US on the inside, the outside will, as an outcome, be loved too!  Our power is in our authenticity and our strength of character...It is a very complicated conversation and can rightly so, be a hot topic for many people. I have no idea what the outcome of this sixty day journey will be, but I do know that I will be digging deeply into some things that potentially frighten me…like looking older, somehow seeming less sexual/sensual/desirable, not feeling complete or professionally buttoned up.

The comment about feeling professionally buttoned up struck a chord with me.  I work in an industry where first impressions are everything, the outer package needs to inspire confidence in your clients or you're dead in the water.  I do think a lot about what the outer package says about people I interact with at work.  My mom  used to say when I was growing up, "if you really cared, you would remember y /do x, etc." Professionally this translate to (for me): if you cared about the job, you'd show up looking like you care about the job. I'm also believe in the saying, dress for the job you want.

Two caveats about both of the statements above though, what does it MEAN to LOOK like you want the job? And while I believe in dressing for the job you want, I don't always like it. Believe me, there are some days where it take a lot to muster the effort to do so. Given these two things, it's interesting to stop for a second and question what this means and what our motives are for why we do what we do as women.

I started to write every other thought I'd ever had on this topic in a single post, but thought I'd treat you to a multi-post week and so I'll be back tomorrow with some more thoughts on this. In the meantime, check out Caitlin and Molly's posts!

in my dreams

I got to go to New York this week for work. It was a very quick trip, just up on the noon Acela and back the next day on the 6pm. I love riding the train and I love visiting New York, so even though I had to sit in a windowless conference room all day on Tuesday, it was still a fun little trip.

I spent the few hours after my arrival and before meeting friends for dinner just wandering around the mid-town area (I can hear my mother now, you did WHAT? ALONE? Are you insane?), and looking at everything. The best free, fun thing to do in New York? Walk & look at stuff.

I've spent approximately 67 hours in New York City in my whole life and this was the first time I'd ever been above 50th. I was on a mission to find the mid-town Momofuku Milk bar (which I did), but I saw something WAY more exciting while I was walking around: the newest location of drybar!! I wasn't sure what is was when I initially saw it, but I googled it immediately, and almost died.

My one crazy pampered millionairess dream is to have someone come to my house every day and do my hair. Can you imagine? I'm sure you have because I'm sure many of you share this very fantasy. If a drybar ever opens in DC it's probably about as close as I'll ever get.

So what is it? It's a salon, but there's not cuts, no color, just blowouts (I can hear the angels in curly-haired girl heaven singing). And shoulder massages too. And there are memberships! You know how long a good blowout will last, for a mere $125 (NY prices!) you can have 4 professional blowouts a month. Yeah still a lot of money, but a girl can dream can't she? Sigh, drybar, we don't really even know each other, but I love you from several states away.

Also, I did other interesting things in New York besides fantasy about blowouts. I will try to post those pictures, but you know how I am, so don't hold your breath! I won't be held liable for you asphyxiating.

Heck, Yes, Pie!

Today on Runner's World Daily was an inspirational poster that really spoke to me:

"Pie" may also symbolize mimosas, wine, or a personal bowl of french onion dip or sometimes Chipotle. Yeah.

Also, for reals today IS National Pie Day! I bet you didn't know that.

Friday Night Wine and Cheese

Three Things Friday

I keep seeing this "Three Things Friday" phenomenon showing up on blogs all over the internet. Unfortunately, I can't even think of three bullet point items to share with you, so I'll do the next best (lazy) thing: share with you three posts I love by other people that I hope you will like too.

• The Boring Runner - Ok, so he is doing Three Things Friday all proper, and it's quite funny today. Though if you can't handle a few swear words and a little poo, you might want to skip it. But most of you have kids, dogs or some combo there of, so this probably won't phase you and will just make you laugh. 
• One Lucky Monkey's Military Families Link Up Post -  I really enjoy reading about Alison's adventures and linking to the other military family blogs from hers.  She's part of a link up today, so check out her post and click through to read posts by others. And seriously, God bless these men and women who share their spouses to protect our country. My mom was a Navy wife and I have a lot of respect for those who serve and those who hold down the fort at home.
• Marriage Confessions on Southern Weddings - I can't even remember how I found Marriage Confessions, but it's a spectacular blog written by Katie Brown, a young wife and mom of two. Her writing style and tone are just so real. And I LOVE people who will keep it real especially with regard to difficult subjects. Katie also writes occasional relationship blogs for Southern Weddings  and she had a great one recently about New Year's resolutions and having "State of Our Union" talks every year.  Check it out here.

Happy Friday!

Some Observations on Money

When I was in college I remember calling my mom to say "I can't pay my sorority dues this semester, money is just so tight...can you loan me $XXX. I will absolutely pay you back."

I don't think I ever actually needed the money for dues, but I wasn't scamming for (just) beer money either -- it was probably groceries and stuff among other things. I always felt like if I asked for money for something that was highly optional, she'd say no if she had to say no.  Of course in retrospect, she never said no (to this or other similar requests)..and I mean that in the best way, I never wanted for anything in my life.

I also remember struggling through with the same pair of contacts for MONTHS on end telling myself I couldn't "afford" new lenses. Never mind that my credit cards statements typically looked something like this:

GREENE LEAFE
PAUL'S DELI
WAWA

Repeat for 2-4 pages in length.

I won't even tell you about the time I wore one contact lens for about 4 months...though to my credit, I would put it in my known weaker eye and my prescription has gotten increasingly less severe over the years. Yay!


Oh my. So what brought on this reflective moment?  I got a bit of a pay raise today and I wrote [Husband] and email about it. The email concluded with the following line:

"The good news is, we'll be able to buy a new refrigerator over Memorial Day just like we planned!"

My, how things have changed. From beer money and single contact lenses to planning extremely sensible purchases at least six months in advance.  It's funny to contemplate all this, but I'm also kind of proud of the progress I've clearly made from 18 to 28. :)