Are You What You Wear?

I work in a field where first impressions are everything, the outer package needs to inspire confidence in your clients or you're dead in the water.  With regards to professional dress, I tend to think a lot about what the outer package says about people.  My mom  used to say when I was growing up, "if you really cared, you would remember/do [x], etc." Professionally this translate to (for me): If you cared about the job, you'd show up looking like you care about the job. I'm also a big believer in the saying, dress for the job you want.

Two things about both of these statements though, what does it MEAN to LOOK like you want the job? And while I believe in dressing for the job you want, I don't always like it. Believe me, there are some days where it take a lot to muster the effort. This morning on my commute into the city, I saw a girl who was clearly on her way to the office, chatting with a friend or co-worker on the metro. What struck me about her was her commuting footwear. Now DC is not known for being particularly fashion forward. I think this picture says about all there is to say about DC, fashion and commuting:

Yeah.

Anyway, back to my metro friend. She was commuting in flip-flops. It's January. And 35 degrees. Flip-flops might be comfy, might be easy, might be gender neutral footwear aka not oppressive to women, but in this situation they make you look incompetent.  Call me shallow and harsh, but if you can't use good judgement with regards to footwear, I'm going to be a bit concerned about your ability to use good judgement when you're working for/with me. Yikes.

Corporette did an interesting post awhile ago about a study that looked at the correlation between make up and perceived competence. I think it kind of gets at what I'm saying above.  Do you feel less confidence in the "under-made-up" woman that she will pay attention to detail, be professionally polished, know how to act with clients?

Who would you want to be the face of your company? But really, all kidding aside. I bet your answer will surprise you.

When I read Caitlin's post yesterday, I thought about the reaction I had to the woman on the metro this morning, and then I began thinking about the things I do (or don't do) and why: specifically hair and make-up.

Oh, the Irony

It's kind of ironic that I'm about to write this given that my last post was about my dream of professional blow outs everyday.  If you don't regularly read Healthy Tipping Point (or do, but haven't checked it out today), you should do so as soon as you have a chance. Caitlin wrote a really thoughtful post this morning about a project she's starting on February 1 with Molly Barker, the founder of Girls on the Run: The Naked Face Project.

In Caitlin's words:

For the next 60 days, Molly and I will give up all traditional feminine Beauty Habits – including wearing any makeup, removing any body hair, altering our hair from its natural state (dying, curling, straightening), wearing uncomfortable feminine clothing (high heels, tight skirts), wearing jewelry (with the exception of wedding bands), painting our nails, using anti-wrinkle or anti-acne lotions, wearing deodorant, or styling or cutting our hair for reasons other than function.  We plan to blow dry our hair (because it’s the winter), brush our teeth, wear sunscreen, and dress appropriately – but comfortably – for the occasion.

Why? (Ok, cop out but I'm not going to even try to match their eloquence.) In Molly's words:

[We (Molly & Caitlin)] have built our entire lives around authenticity…using our experiences, thoughts, time and intelligence…to transform cultural norms around beauty and gender…to help little girls and big girls, alike, see that they are beautiful just the way they are…that beauty really is an inside job…that when we love the BIG US on the inside, the outside will, as an outcome, be loved too!  Our power is in our authenticity and our strength of character...It is a very complicated conversation and can rightly so, be a hot topic for many people. I have no idea what the outcome of this sixty day journey will be, but I do know that I will be digging deeply into some things that potentially frighten me…like looking older, somehow seeming less sexual/sensual/desirable, not feeling complete or professionally buttoned up.

The comment about feeling professionally buttoned up struck a chord with me.  I work in an industry where first impressions are everything, the outer package needs to inspire confidence in your clients or you're dead in the water.  I do think a lot about what the outer package says about people I interact with at work.  My mom  used to say when I was growing up, "if you really cared, you would remember y /do x, etc." Professionally this translate to (for me): if you cared about the job, you'd show up looking like you care about the job. I'm also believe in the saying, dress for the job you want.

Two caveats about both of the statements above though, what does it MEAN to LOOK like you want the job? And while I believe in dressing for the job you want, I don't always like it. Believe me, there are some days where it take a lot to muster the effort to do so. Given these two things, it's interesting to stop for a second and question what this means and what our motives are for why we do what we do as women.

I started to write every other thought I'd ever had on this topic in a single post, but thought I'd treat you to a multi-post week and so I'll be back tomorrow with some more thoughts on this. In the meantime, check out Caitlin and Molly's posts!

in my dreams

I got to go to New York this week for work. It was a very quick trip, just up on the noon Acela and back the next day on the 6pm. I love riding the train and I love visiting New York, so even though I had to sit in a windowless conference room all day on Tuesday, it was still a fun little trip.

I spent the few hours after my arrival and before meeting friends for dinner just wandering around the mid-town area (I can hear my mother now, you did WHAT? ALONE? Are you insane?), and looking at everything. The best free, fun thing to do in New York? Walk & look at stuff.

I've spent approximately 67 hours in New York City in my whole life and this was the first time I'd ever been above 50th. I was on a mission to find the mid-town Momofuku Milk bar (which I did), but I saw something WAY more exciting while I was walking around: the newest location of drybar!! I wasn't sure what is was when I initially saw it, but I googled it immediately, and almost died.

My one crazy pampered millionairess dream is to have someone come to my house every day and do my hair. Can you imagine? I'm sure you have because I'm sure many of you share this very fantasy. If a drybar ever opens in DC it's probably about as close as I'll ever get.

So what is it? It's a salon, but there's not cuts, no color, just blowouts (I can hear the angels in curly-haired girl heaven singing). And shoulder massages too. And there are memberships! You know how long a good blowout will last, for a mere $125 (NY prices!) you can have 4 professional blowouts a month. Yeah still a lot of money, but a girl can dream can't she? Sigh, drybar, we don't really even know each other, but I love you from several states away.

Also, I did other interesting things in New York besides fantasy about blowouts. I will try to post those pictures, but you know how I am, so don't hold your breath! I won't be held liable for you asphyxiating.

Heck, Yes, Pie!

Today on Runner's World Daily was an inspirational poster that really spoke to me:

"Pie" may also symbolize mimosas, wine, or a personal bowl of french onion dip or sometimes Chipotle. Yeah.

Also, for reals today IS National Pie Day! I bet you didn't know that.

Friday Night Wine and Cheese

Three Things Friday

I keep seeing this "Three Things Friday" phenomenon showing up on blogs all over the internet. Unfortunately, I can't even think of three bullet point items to share with you, so I'll do the next best (lazy) thing: share with you three posts I love by other people that I hope you will like too.

• The Boring Runner - Ok, so he is doing Three Things Friday all proper, and it's quite funny today. Though if you can't handle a few swear words and a little poo, you might want to skip it. But most of you have kids, dogs or some combo there of, so this probably won't phase you and will just make you laugh. 
• One Lucky Monkey's Military Families Link Up Post -  I really enjoy reading about Alison's adventures and linking to the other military family blogs from hers.  She's part of a link up today, so check out her post and click through to read posts by others. And seriously, God bless these men and women who share their spouses to protect our country. My mom was a Navy wife and I have a lot of respect for those who serve and those who hold down the fort at home.
• Marriage Confessions on Southern Weddings - I can't even remember how I found Marriage Confessions, but it's a spectacular blog written by Katie Brown, a young wife and mom of two. Her writing style and tone are just so real. And I LOVE people who will keep it real especially with regard to difficult subjects. Katie also writes occasional relationship blogs for Southern Weddings  and she had a great one recently about New Year's resolutions and having "State of Our Union" talks every year.  Check it out here.

Happy Friday!

Some Observations on Money

When I was in college I remember calling my mom to say "I can't pay my sorority dues this semester, money is just so tight...can you loan me $XXX. I will absolutely pay you back."

I don't think I ever actually needed the money for dues, but I wasn't scamming for (just) beer money either -- it was probably groceries and stuff among other things. I always felt like if I asked for money for something that was highly optional, she'd say no if she had to say no.  Of course in retrospect, she never said no (to this or other similar requests)..and I mean that in the best way, I never wanted for anything in my life.

I also remember struggling through with the same pair of contacts for MONTHS on end telling myself I couldn't "afford" new lenses. Never mind that my credit cards statements typically looked something like this:

GREENE LEAFE
PAUL'S DELI
WAWA

Repeat for 2-4 pages in length.

I won't even tell you about the time I wore one contact lens for about 4 months...though to my credit, I would put it in my known weaker eye and my prescription has gotten increasingly less severe over the years. Yay!


Oh my. So what brought on this reflective moment?  I got a bit of a pay raise today and I wrote [Husband] and email about it. The email concluded with the following line:

"The good news is, we'll be able to buy a new refrigerator over Memorial Day just like we planned!"

My, how things have changed. From beer money and single contact lenses to planning extremely sensible purchases at least six months in advance.  It's funny to contemplate all this, but I'm also kind of proud of the progress I've clearly made from 18 to 28. :)

Couldn't We at Least Hide this on Page 4?

Dear Washington Post,
Thank you for emblazoning the front cover of this past Sunday's paper with "LOVE AMIDST THE TENTS!"  I already don't much care for the whole Occupy DC thing (really, get a job...and stop loitering in public places), but I can handle it. However, now that you have clued me into the fact that people aren't just "protesting" or "practicing free speech" that they are likley having the S-E-X in tents in a public park across the street from my office, I am even less enthralled. This is, in a phrase, totally gross.

No.  Honey, you can probably do better.

In the future, let's try to focus on the clothed, non-sex-having-in-tents parts of the occupation.

Thanks,
McV

Baby Cheetah

I kind of want to run away and be a baby cheetah.

Who should I talk to to make this happen?

Pants Confusion

I mentioned awhile back that I was curious about leggings. After years of my being on the anti-leggings/leggings are not pants band wagon, I'm sure this came as a shock to all of you. Well, brace yourselves. Sit down if you can. I've been experimenting.

I purchased a pair of leggings a few months ago and after wearing them around the house, I have actually ventured outside in them and worn them to places where people will see me such as a the grocery store. And it's ok.

It's ok because I abide by the number one rule of leggings: Leggings are NOT pants. While technically part of the Pants Phylum, they are more closely related to the Family Tights, and are in fact a distinct species.  As such you need to cover your FRONT and BACK uh, "sides" while indulging in leggings.

After procuring my leggings ($10 at the now defunct Filene's. RIP.), I went in search of several longer and/or tunic style shirts to wear with them. Yes, I bought pants that went with pretty much nothing in my closet (if you exclude the two pairs of shoes...). Forgive me, Tim Gunn, for I have sinned.

Anyway, for about $35, I got a longish "chambray" button-down from Old Navy, a cranberry scoop neck long ribbed shirt from H&M and a white, loose-fit, long sleeve tissue tee (not pictured) also from H&M. All of which fulfill above requirements. 

See, just covers the front bits.

Just like this but longer, I swear.

 Along with two drape sweaters (Ann Taylor, Nordstrom Rack), one pair of brown boots and one pair of leopard print flats, I have gone from pants-wearer to ambiguous leg covering-wearer with ease and style (IMHO anyway).

Just like these, minus about $250.

If you too are considering making this fashion leap of faith, let me recommend some light reading for you on making the switch with grace.

Also, did I mention that leggings are comfy? And I basically spend half the winter gallivanting about town in running tights anyway, so now I can at least be classy and do it with out ankle zippers and "Sugoi" plastered across my thighs!

Cozy traditional living room

Our house is a work in a progress.  We're sort of trapped in a home decor purgatory that exists after Ikea, but before Pottery Barn.  We are fortunate enough to own, so we paint (a lot) and put holes in the wall (with gusto).  I am still trying to wrap my mind around the design philosophy that home decor and design is fluid and a work in progress, and it's ok for it to be ever changing.  You can't decorate a room or a house with things you love in a weekend, it takes time (or else a LOT of money) and I know I'll drive myself crazy trying to ever "finish" the house. 

However, our living room is one room that I would really like to have closer to the "finished" side of the spectrum than the "work in progress" die. To me, finished will mean, less Ikea furniture, a home for all the necessities and items we use on a daily basis, and for the room to feel streamlined and be functional.  The big items we want to tackle to make these goals a reality are 1) better storage for our glassware and china 2) end tables! and 3) curtains or some sort of window covering.

[Husband] revealed to me when we were looking at china cabinets in the Leesburg ReStore a few months ago that he prefers traditional style furniture.  And he means traditional -- finials on top of cabinets, colonial, carved legs, Ethan Allen, etc. etc. traditional. I almost fainted because we own a relatively modern couch from West Elm, a thoroughly modern coffee table from C+B and again, a houseful of IKEA furniture.  At first this seemed like a real dilemma.  We don't have a unanimous voting procedure for decor decisions like John and Sherry at YHL.  In fact most design decisions involve one of us cajoling the other until he/she gives in and then either learning to live with it, decide to love it, or use it as a bargaining chip in the next design decision, a la I let you paint that room green, we're not buying that chair in THAT print. 

But after thinking about it for awhile, I realized, we have a DIRECTION now! Hurrah and I didn't have think of it all by myself.  The colors we lean toward and the basic, if somewhat modern furniture pieces we have, I think, almost lend themselves to having one or two more traditional items as the statement pieces in the room.  Throw in some more traditional prints and textiles, and I think we may have something.  Eventually the Billy Bookcases will have to go, but for now I guess we'll make do. 

Anyway, this is a long way of saying that the above is what I'm thinking for our living room. I have seen these neutral buffalo check curtains a few places and I think they could look kind of cool in our living room.  That's our couch, though ours is slightly lighter, and we do own that rug.  [Husband] really likes these pedestal style end tables, and it would work well in our space, so I'm on the look out for one or two.  We are on the hunt for a dining room hutch and buffet and hope to find one in a similar style and dark wood stain as the one shown above.  The lamps are from World Market and I admire them whenever I'm in there.  I should probably pick them up sometime!  We might have room for an arm chair, and although we probably don't need something else dark, I think a leather chair would add a nice finishing touch to the whole room.  The wall color on the main level where all this would exist is Ralph Lauren's Chimayo Red (color matched at Home Depot natch).

What do you think? Too crazy with checks and flowers? Mixing patterns is not my strong suit, but I understand it can be done according to all the pictures I see on the Internets!  And I only discovered TODAY that you can make ROOMS on Polyvore and not just outfits with it! Pinterest and Polyvore, you'll be the end of me!

Cozy traditional living room by vksiev featuring Schumacher

Target Fieldcrest Jacobean Floral Rug
$35 - target.com (this must be the 2x3 runner because I remember paying a pretty penny for this).

Eastport Buffet with Hutch Top
$3,348 - crateandbarrel.com (Right, I would never pay this much for a single piece of furnitre).

Henry Sectional | west elm
$399 - westelm.com (got ours on sale! wooo!)

IKEA Billy
$290 - ikea.com (I love you/hate you).

IKEA Ystad
$599 - ikea.com (Really, Ikea? You be crazy if you think I will pay you $600 for a CHAIR.)

Metal Camden Task Lamp | Lighting| Home Decor | World Market
$50 - worldmarket.com (love).

Pasha Basketwork Table Lamp Base | Lighting| Home Decor | World Market
$55 - worldmarket.com (heart).

Newberry Pedestal Side Table | Pottery Barn
516 CAD - potterybarn.com (Heart the table, not the price).

Even Though...

Well, Happy New Year, everyone!  Hope you had a grand weekend and enjoyed the day off (hope you had it off!) yesterday. I think perhaps we should just move to celebrating Christmas and New Year's on the second to last and last Saturday of December respectively.  It seems to work out really well having Christmas Eve on a Saturday and having Monday off following each weekend.

I wish I had a fun holiday post for you, but I don't! Instead, just a few random thoughts for you today.

Even though...I wish I was a better blogger because I love/am indebted to those of you who DO blog frequently and save me from office boredom, at the end of the day, I just can't sit in front of a computer anymore. Even for fun!

Even though...we had a big discussion last week about how we were going to make our weeknight meals lighter and simpler, I used half a stick of butter concocting a wine-braised short rib recipe with rosemary and parsnip mashed potatoes. It was really good though. Recipe here.

Even though...I know we're all growing up and getting mortgages and married and having kids and stuff, it's still disconcerting to see photos on Facebook (yeah, I'm back) of guys you used to make out with who used to make out with lots of people, not you though, with the caption "Daddy and [insert baby name here]!"

Even though...when I woke up yesterday, I was all, I'm so not drinking for like at least 2 days, I ended up having a few glasses of TJ's zin while making dinner. What? I couldn't let the short ribs drink alone. That would be rude.

The upside of the redneck wine glass is that since it's constructed with a mason jar, you can clearly track your wine consumption use the cup and/or ounce hashes on the side of the glass!  Please also note my deer hunting orange sweatshirt, bottom left.